Most of us don't ever think about developing our negotiation skills. However, even if you're not in sales, having the ability to negotiate effectively can help you in many aspects of your life, both financially and socially. The words you use and how you use those words can have a significant impact on getting your way. Here are a few tips that might help you in the future.
Let's use the purchase of a car as an example. However, these principles can apply to any negotiation. Let's assume that you have your eyes on a used Honda Civic. Making a slight adjustment in your phrasing is the key to success. The trick is to make your offer, and the fact that the seller will benefit from it, the focal point of your wording. Do not focus on your interest in the car.
For example, instead of saying, "I'll take the civic for $2,500," say, "I’ll give you $2,500 for your civic.” This change is subtle, but it makes a big difference in how the other person perceives the offer. They see what they will gain vs. what you are taking from them.
The same can be said if you’re the seller. “I’ll give you my car for $10,000,” draws the buyer's attention to the car he’ll get and what he’ll gain. Using this phrasing will get you a better deal than if you said, “give me $10,000 for the car”. This phrasing emphasizes what he is losing.
The same tactic can work for almost any situation. “You’ve got a deal if we can agree to 125 grand for the house.” Not “drop the price to 125 grand, and you got a deal.” Again, focus on what the other person is going to gain, not what they’re going to lose.
What about when you are trying to convince your spouse to do what you want? “I’ll take you to dinner if you help me with this project” works way better than “we can’t go to dinner unless you help me with this project.”
The bottom line is always to think about positioning the wording, so the other person always sees a gain, and you will find you get your way a lot more often.